I'm doing it. But first, to clarify. To be certain. To make sure that everything that can possibly be clear is as clear as it can possibly be, let's get one thing straight up front. I'm not really so vain as to believe that anyone would have any interest in anything that I might have to say. About...well, anything. In fact, I had thought about trying to be witty here and write something remarkably clever and novel, and I decided "hell with it." Why rattle my brain about trying (and largely in vain, no doubt) to give birth to entertaining and insightful thoughts and ideas, only to have them reverberate around in the hollow, empty caverns of cyberspace forever, and ever, and ever? No. Better to get straight to the point.
"So", I hear you not asking, "Why blog, if you have nothing to say? Or, rather (and worse), everything to say, but with the full and complete knowledge that no one gives a shit about any of it?" Well, sit, and I'll tell you. Or don't sit. Stand. Jump up and down. Stick your head in the oven. Whatever. I don't care.
Okay, here's why.
I love guitars. I mean, more so than is probably healthy. Most people employ pornographic magazines or videos of some sort as a masturbatory aid. Well, so do I. But, I also keep a couple of various new and vintage guitar order catalogs laying around for the same purpose. And you see, that's where we're different, you and I. You've never masturbated while looking at a guitar magazine. And if you have, well, call me.
So.
I've always wanted to build my own guitar. And I've been thinking about it for awhile now. I always suspected that my first one would be a Stratocaster. I'm not really sure why, as, traditionally, Telecasters are my favorite guitar. Perhaps because most of my guitar idols are typically strat players. I don't know. Anyway. All of this kind of brings us to the point, to the inspiration, if you will, for the words that you, the reader, are now, undoubtedly, not reading.
I have been playing mostly acoustic guitar for the last 7 or 8 years. In times of financial struggle, nearly a decade ago, I lost 3 different electric guitars in hock, leaving me with only an acoustic that I'd have starved rather than part with, because, one, it's the best acoustic guitar I've ever played, and two, well, you have to have at least one guitar at all times, right?
Okay, back to the point. So, recently, and thanks in no small part to my involvement in The Satellite Hearts, the urge to plug in and get loud began to gush and surge through my veins. Like, um, something that gushes and surges. So, I was walking through the guitar store, when my eyes did light upon a gorgeous, 3 tone sunburst telecaster. Instant erection. I lusted. I yearned. I yearned. I lusted. My eyes caressed the supple curves of the body. My mouth watered at the reflection of fluorescent lighting off the impossibly polished chrome of the controls and pick up covers. Slowly, my eyes made their way up the long, slender neck. Taking their time, wanting to absorb every last detail of the grain of the beautiful rosewood fretboard. Eventually, they came to rest on the headstock. And my erection wilted like an Okra plant in the Mojave. It was a Squire. Now, for the non-guitar geeks, a Squier is a very, very cheap line of guitars produced by Fender and aimed, I assume, at the beginning player. They're typically assembled in Korea or the less classy and sophisticated suburbs of Ciudad Juarez Mexico, and they...are...horrible. A novice probably wouldn't pick up on the differences, but to even the most modestly experienced player, they feel very, very cheap, and are notoriously hard to play to boot. So, I picked it up anyway, for some reason. I Began to play, and my guitar erection, my "guirection", if you will, returned almost immediately. This couldn't possibly be a Squier. It felt solid and hefty in my hands, and the action (that is to say, how the strings feel under your hands, or how the guitar plays) was buttery smooth and low. Mmmm. Goodness. So, it turned out this guitar was part of a new line called the "Classic Vibe" series. Assembled overseas to save production costs, but composed of higher quality parts and components than your typical Squier fare. So, at a little under 300 bucks, there was just no way I could say no.
So, I get it home. And it really is a fantastic guitar. For anyone that is looking for an introductory guitar and is also non-anal and perfectly content to just set around and not meddle with things, to leave well enough alone, I would suffice to say that, for the money, you could do no better than a Squier classic vibe guitar. But, I am not one of those people. I am a tinkerer. A meddler. And, as tinkerers and meddlers are wont to do, I got to thinking. "You know, if I performed some upgrades to this, it could be nothing short of fantastic." So, I started ordering some parts. Top quality, second-to-none after market parts. Parts that are higher quality than those used by most major guitar companies on their top of the line models. I'm looking at you, Fender. And then, a few days ago, I was browsing ebay, when I stumbled upon a relic, nitrocellulose finished sonic blue telecaster body from a well respected manufacturer of custom guitar bodies. For cheap. So, I bid. And, it looks as if I'm about to win. And I probably just jinxed myself. But, that brings us, after some meandering on my part, back to why we're here. It occurred to me that I was subconsciously acquiring everything I needed to do my first build. If the auction goes as planned, I'll only have to acquire the perfect neck, and I'll have everything to build my dream guitar. And of better parts and construction than I could buy off the shelf. So, here we are. This blog is to document that process. Right now I have the parts all sitting around grouped together in a corner, but after I receive the body, I'll start taking some pictures and documenting the assembly process, all while keeping an eye out for a dream neck.
So, there you go. This is a place for me to document my first attempt at guitar construction. Let's hope it goes well. And, let's be honest. Who knows what other inane bullshit I'll end up posting here from time to time? Because, as should now be evident, after I get started, I have a tendency to ramble. Okay. That's it. I'm done for now. Go away.
And also, I haven't proof read this, so if I screwed up somewhere or I'm redundant, deal. You're crazy if you think I'm reading all that shit.
/win
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